So, lemme guess- You think I hate this episode, right? I've bashed on the rest of Season 3 and you bet this isn't gonna be any different. Well... You're right and wrong on that point. This one was just "okay". It was fairly weak, but it was alright. Only problem is it's come in on the tail end of a LOT of not-really-relevant or interesting episodes, so I can't help but yell at the TV to get to the friggin' action already. So, what sort of pointless mediocrity occurs in this one? Well, let's dive right in and find out.
That's no moon... that's a SPOILERS!
So basically this episode is the one we saw in a lot of Season 3 trailers where Ahsoka is having premonitions. Now, I always thought this would have been cool, and whenever I saw those trailers, I thought to myself "Wow, what could she be dreaming about? The death of her master she must prevent? An entire squad of clones being destroyed? The fate of an entire battle, or even a turning point in the Clone War? What?!" And it turns out... she's dreaming about Padme being shot at.
What.
Why. How is that even interesting at all. I mean, we know she LIVES, and we already had this stupid plot device in Revenge of the Sith. There, it worked, 'cuz she was gonna die! Here, it doesn't, because it's just stale and ripped off and disappointing! This had so much potential, but here it's just a wasted filler episode in Season 3. Thanks a lot, Lucas and Filoni.
So she has her first dream with Aurra Sing in it, where she strangles Ahsoka and says "She will die, and there's nothing you can do." So she wakes up and talks to Master Yoda about it. They have a discussion about it, ripping off Anakin's scene in Episode III pretty shamelessly. Cut to the library, where Ahsoka is studying, thumbing through a list of bounty hunters, the starts to doze off, having another dream. This time, Ahsoka is rushing through a hallway, and we see Aurra Sing accept a job to kill Padme, she takes aim, and the dream ends with a blaster shot. Ahsoka determines that Padme is in danger (Gee, what gave you that idea) and heads off the next morning to visit her. She talks about how she's having dreams about Padme dying, and it turns out Padme's going to Alderaan, despite what Ahsoka says. Ahsoka goes off to have another vision, this time a short one of Aurra Sing targeting Padme in a blaster sight. She returns to Yoda again to speak with him, who tells him to choose how to deal with it, telling her "Always in motion is the future, and many possible futures there are." She ends up going with Padme to Alderaan for "extra security". Commercial break.
Cut to mid-voyage where Ahsoka and Padme are playing that game from A New Hope. It's a nice geek-out moment that this episode has a few of, and it shows the two bonding that the last few episodes with these two has kind of completely forgotten to show us. So at least that had some meaning. Ahsoka talks about how without Anakin, she's a little lacking in confidence. Padme talks about her time as queen in a fairly predictable sequence, that, again, I'm glad is there because really, the whole "Ahsoka and Padme being all chummy" thing makes little sense without. That night, Ahsoka begins to dream AGAIN. This time, her dream is really short, but she wakes up, and Aurra Sing is RIGHT THERE. Gasp. She wakes up again (Dream within a dream thing), and runs to protect Padme, thinking the assassin's inside, but realizes that there's nothing there and walks off.
We FINALLY get to Alderaan and I marvel at how some of the 2D backgrounds behind the buildings are rather elegantly painted. Padme meets up with Bail Organa, who takes her to her quarters. Ahsoka decodes that the plot is moving too slowly and that she needs to have a vision to liven things up. This time the big reveal is the room she's in when she gets shot, and she tells Padme about it. They take her to the conference room, which Ahsoka recognizes that this is the room Padme gets shot at in the dream. Padme asks if in the dream, Aurra Sing succeeds, and Ahsoka replies she's not sure, even though in one dream Padme is clearly dead, and another she clearly gets shot at.
What.
Outside, the two talk more, probably to instill anti-confidence in Ahsoka and pad out the length of the episode. Come time for the conference, Bail is talking, and introduces Padme, who begins to speak. However, trouble is brewing in the air vents (I think, they're tall enough for a Senate Commando to stand comfortably at full height in) as Aurra kills said commando and begins to snap together her sniper rifle. Ahsoka senses something amiss, and tries to stop the assassin by giving her a force shove, but it's too late- Aurra, dressed in Ahnold-style commando makeup, takes the shot, hitting Padme. She fires on Ahsoka, who gives chase, but she gets away, Bail yelling for a medic. Commercial time.
Cut to outside the medical room. The droid comes out.
"It's twins!"
"Wait, what?!"
"Oh, sorry. With all this premonition dreaming crap I thought we were filming Revenge of the Sith in Five Seconds. She's fine. It's just a flesh wound."
Of course, that's not how it REALLY goes down, but how it SHOULD have.
Anyway, I chuckle because of the thinly-veiled Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference ("It was only a flesh wound.") Ahsoka goes in and apologizes, and she and Bail try to convince her to return to Coruscant, Padme decides otherwise, and Ahsoka gets an idea. So the conference starts (again), I pick out an extra that looks like Mario's Princess Daisy from the crowd, and Aurra starts sneaking around. As Padme talks, Aurra sneaks around and it turns out she's wise to Ahsoka's idea, which turns out to be replacing Padme with a droid.
Aurra finds the room Padme is broadcasting her speech from, and tries to take another shot (no pun intended) at killing her, but Ahsoka shows up at the last possible second and deflects the blast, pulling Aurra down from the air vent embarrasingly. Aurra blasts the controls to the door, Aurra tries to kill Padme and blasts Ahsoka in the arm. When she falls, Padme is waiting, blaster on stun, and... well, stuns her. Typho and some Senate Commandos make it into the room, and we cut back to Coruscant where Padme's ship finally docks, surrounded by the Coruscant Guard, and- Wait, what?
The Coruscant Guard is there?!
WHAT THE-
HOW DID-
WHY ARE-
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH DAVE FILONI AND GEORGE LUCAS, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!
I mean, did they JUST REMEMBER at the VERY END of animating this episode that the Coruscant Guard frelling EXISTS?! Why can't you let them EVER DO THEIR JOBS?! Why must some of the coolest characters in the Clone Wars be typecast as frigging EXTRAS?! REALLY?! Heck, Marc Ecko made a SHOCK TROOPER HOODIE!! THAT SHOULD TIP YOU OFF AS TO HOW THEY'RE ACTUALLY WORTH SOMETHING AS CHARACTERS! AND WE KNOW THEY'RE NOT DISSOLVED BECAUSE THEY SHOW UP IN EPISODE III!! USE THE CORUSCANT GUARD, FILONI!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THOSE "CLONE ONLY" EPISODES YOU PROMISED, HUH?! WHAT THE HELL, FILONI!
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
*takes some chill pills and drinks some water* Okay... Continuing the episode, Ahsoka tries to have a vision on the landing platform, about a large, devouring purple shape with bizzare laughter.
So the person who hired Aurra was a one-eyed, one-horned giant purple people-eater. And y'know, it sure looks strange to me.
Heck, maybe THIS is the vision she had.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C_MM9ug2D4
Anakin says how there's a lot of people that want revenge on Padme, but Padme adds that not a lot of them are huge, hungry and purple.
I KNEW IT, THE HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS WANT REVENGE.
Anyway. Anakin and Ahsoka and a Coruscant Guard trooper head to the jail to visit Ziro the Hutt, where Ziro, who I'm not sure is a he or a she (I think this hutt is genderless anyway) where he/she is tricked into admitting that it hired Aurra Sing.
This gives me a continuity headache, because we know at the end of Season 1 that Ziro was busted out of jail, so that means that this episode took place before then, as did the Mandalore episodes, plus the Mandalore story arc from Season 2 and a lot of others, not to mention the film. This places Hostage Crisis (end of Season 1) at the very end of this whole timeline... Errrrggghhhhh. This also means that because Aurra assisted in the plot to free Ziro, she'll have to be freed eventually, too. Or Ziro was locked up again and we just didn't see that, but that's just stupid. I think the writers just forgot that Ziro was freed in Season 1 and brought it back for convenience. Leland Chee is going to have a field day just trying to figure THIS out, much less the entirety of this frelling cartoon.
Thanks, writers. Bang-up job screwing with continuity.
So, that's Assassin! And in the end, how does it fare?
Okay.
By no means is this a strictly "bad" episode, like, say, the recent Mandalore ones were. It really is just that- okay. It's not excellent, nor is it poor. It's filler is what it is. There are a few cool geek-out moments and the fact that Ahsoka is dreaming up premonitions at all is kind of neat. But it's really a huge waste. It's a waste of time, a waste of an episode, and a waste of potential. What really gets on my nerves about this episode are two things, one of which is said wasted potential. These dreams could have been really, REALLY cool, about something really awesome. But instead we get a poor EpIII ripoff nobody wanted. But hey, at least Aurra's still alive, right? (I know she was a shabuir to Boba, but I'm actually starting to like "Babe Fett".) The other thing is that the Coruscant Guard is just there to cocktease us at this point by just being there, like the writers are saying "Hey, want these cool characters with lots of potential for a cool story? Huh? Do ya? Well TOO BAD WE'RE NOT USING THEM."
The more this season drags on the more I get the feeling that the whole season is just filler for the three seconds Delta Squad is in their respective episode.
Filoni, I am disappoint.
Until next time, k'oyaci!
This was my favorite review you ever did.
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